You may have arrived at divorce after a long attempt to fix your marriage, or you may have been blindsided with divorce papers. Either way, the road ahead of you might be long and bumpy. Divorce isn’t easy, but it also doesn’t last forever. This pain will pass, and you will have a chance at a new start. By learning how to treat divorce as a time for growth, you can use this time to get to know yourself better.
Having the right legal support can make this time less stressful for you. Find out how Olmstead & Olmstead can help by calling us at 703-361-1555.
Allowing Yourself Room to Grieve
To start, don’t rush your positive thinking. Yes, divorce is a time to grow, but you need to grieve before you can grow. This is a huge loss and trying to ignore your own feelings will just lead to them coming out later in a more painful way. When you’re hurt, allow yourself to feel it. When you’re angry, let it out by venting to someone you trust. When you feel hopeless, just hold on until the feeling passes.
Figure Out Where You Went Wrong
Chances are, you’ve spent a lot of time thinking about where your spouse went wrong during the marriage. However, remember that your future doesn’t lie with their faults and their personal growth—it is with your own growth. It is their job to work on their problems after divorce, and it’s your job to figure out how you contributed to the breakdown of your marriage.
This type of deep thinking and reflection will not only help you in future romantic relationships, it will also help you become a better person in general. You might find it helpful to talk to a therapist or get some divorce book recommendations to guide your analysis in this area.
Reimagine Life After the Divorce
You had dreams for your marriage and your family, and now some of those dreams are lost. While you can definitely spend some time dwelling on that loss and feeling the pain of that loss, you don’t want to live in that grief. Instead, make an effort to come up with new goals and dreams for your post-divorce life.
Maybe your ex-partner thought your career goals were unrealistic, and now you have the time to pursue them. Perhaps their taste in homes was wildly different from yours, and you now have the freedom to buy the home of your dreams. Maybe you’ll have more free time to travel, see friends, or make memories with your children. There are many possibilities if you’re willing to look for them.
Spend Some Time on Your Own Goals
Throughout the course of your marriage, you may have spent a considerable amount of time sacrificing your own goals for the sake of the family. Once your divorce is finalized, it’s time to prioritize yourself. While you should still focus on your children and helping them through this process, you no longer have to support or care for your ex-spouse. Think about the goals you have put off or silenced in order to support your partner in theirs. This is the time to explore them and find out who you truly are without the veneer of marriage.
Be Patient with Yourself
Healing isn’t linear. The further away you get from the initial shock of divorce, the better you might feel in general. However, there will still be days that knock the wind out of you. There will be days that feel as painful as the day you decided to pursue divorce. This might feel like a step backwards, but it’s just a normal part of the healing process. Be kind to yourself and recognize that there will be hard days and weeks. Don’t rush yourself or shame yourself for whatever feelings you may have.
Choose Olmstead & Olmstead for Your Legal Needs
Part of getting through divorce as painlessly as possible is having a trustworthy legal team next to you. That’s where we come in. Schedule a consultation with Olmstead & Olmstead today by calling us at 703-361-1555 or by . You do not have to go through this alone.